Royal Rumble 2021 Preview

 

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It's the end of January, you know what that means... WWE is holding their annual January event, The Royal Rumble, this Sunday night. As the only wrestling fan that actually writes for this blog (sorry Tyler), I'm going to give my predictions for the show. I tried to hit on this during our last podcast before I was steamrolled by Cody and Tauber so they could jerk one out to the thought of firing Mike Tomlin. Unfortunately for them, I pretty much do all of the work around here, so I can do whatever I want. The Lobos Power Hour is covering wrestling now, suck it Tauber. 

First order of business now that this is a wrestling blog, The Royal Rumble. As of Saturday morning, there are six matches announced for the show. I imagine that one of Bobby Lashley, Big E, or The Hurt Business will defend their titles on the pre-show, but nothing is official yet. We have four championships on the line along with the two Royal Rumble matches bookending the show. I'm just gonna go match-by-match through the show and pick my winners. There's a solid chance that I go 0-6, I haven't watched RAW in about a month. 

WWE Women's Tag Team Champions Asuka and Charlotte Flair vs. Shayna Baszler and Nia Jax

I'm not really sure what's going on in this storyline. Lacey Evans seems to be trying to fuck Charlotte's father Ric, even though he's like 75 years old and also looks like this. I think Charlotte is feuding with Lacey Evans and Peyton Royce, while Shayna and Nia are still in a story with Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke. Lana is M.I.A. , and Asuka, the RAW Women's Champion, is just there. Asuka is probably going to face Charlotte for that title at Wrestlemania, and while that story has to start somewhere, I don't think it'll be this early. Asuka and Charlotte will retain the titles, probably with some outside interference from like eight other people. This whole thing is a clusterfuck. 

My Prediction - Asuka and Charlotte Flair win

Universal Champion Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens in a Last Man Standing Match 

Roman Reigns might be the best heel in wrestling. There's a sentence that I never though I'd write. But ever since turning Roman heel at SummerSlam, he's been incredible. His pairing with Paul Heyman has added another dimension to his character. Reigns is "The Head of the Table" and "The Tribal Chief." Flanked by Heyman, his cousin Jey Uso, and Apollo Crews (maybe), he has built the dominant faction on Smackdown. Reigns has defended the Universal Championship a few times since winning it in August. He defeated Jey Uso at Clash of Champions and at Hell in a Cell, the latter victory forcing Jey to recognize him as the leader of their family. Reigns also beat Braun Strowman on Smackdown to retain the title in October, but honestly, I don't remember that at all. Reigns began a feud with Kevin Owens leading up to TLC and has successfully defended his title against him a few times. This final match between the two came about due to Roman being outsmarted by WWE official, Adam Pearce. Pearce held a gauntlet match to determine the next challenger for Reigns, but was put into the match by Heyman. Uso and Reigns ensured that Pearce would win the gauntlet by attacking him and his opponent, Shinsuke Nakamura, before the bell. An unconscious Pearce pinned Nak, making him the number one contender. Pearce hasn't wrestled a match in like 5 years, but found a loophole in the contract to have Kevin Owens take his place. This match is going to be brutal. KO is an insane person and Reigns have been murdering his opponents since the summer. Roman Reigns is going to retain the belt, but this match is going to be great. I'm sure Owens is going to take a crazy bump that will most likely make me uncomfortable. 

My Prediction - Roman Reigns retains after committing murder on PPV

WWE Champion Drew McIntyre vs. Goldberg

This match might be fun, but please don't have Goldberg win, Vince. Drew McIntyre has been an awesome champion for almost a full year now and Goldberg doesn't need the belt. I'm sure Goldberg is going to win for some reason, but I'm picking Drew. Heart over head on this one. Vince, please don't do it. 

My Prediction - Drew McIntyre wins, but he probably won't

Smackdown Women's Champion Sasha Banks vs. Carmella 

This feud has been going on for a while now and I think this is the end of it. Sasha has to retain the belt here. I don't think there's much else to say. Should be a good match though. 

My Prediction - Sasha Banks Wins

Women's Royal Rumble Match

There hasn't been any build to this match whatsoever. The only people that could really win it are Bianca Belair, Bayley, Alexa Bliss, and Charlotte Flair. Maybe a debuting Rhea Ripley, but that hasn't been announced. Bianca Belair had a great showing in the Rumble last year and I think she'll do it again. I'm going to pick her, but Rhea Ripley winning would be pretty cool too. Like the men's match, there isn't an obvious pick. It'll be nice to see the entire NXT Women's roster in this match at least. Give me Candice Larae with the entire Gargano family at ringside. There's nothing better than Dickhead Johnny Gargano. 

 My Prediction - Bianca Belair, but also maybe Rhea Ripley if she's in it

Men's Royal Rumble Match

This match is loaded. I think there's about ten different wrestlers that could win it, and I love that. Daniel Bryan and AJ Styles seem to be the favorites, but Shinsuke Nakamura, Edge, Randy Orton, Cesaro, Keith Lee, Bobby Lashley, Sheamus, and maybe even a Big E or Kevin Owens could win it. I might've missed someone in that group too. I love the Rumble match. I was lucky enough to attend the show in 2014, also known as CM Punk's last appearance for the WWE. We booed Rey Mysterio out of the building for not being Daniel Bryan. I think they're finally going to pull the trigger on a Bryan victory in the Rumble. Just about 7 years too late, but at least it might happen! Please have Carlito make a surprise return in this match. That's all I'm asking for. Well, that and a Cesaro or Nakamura win, but that'll never happen. One for two ain't bad!

My Prediction - Daniel Bryan wins, Cesaro makes it to the final four